Ever Fear Failing? Careful, your subconscious may be getting the best of you. One of the hardest realities I’ve had to accept is that—more times than not—my subconscious is my own worst enemy.
According to a 2005 Us News & World Report article,”The Secret Mind,” “Numerous cognitive neuroscientists have conducted studies that have revealed that only 5% of our cognitive activities (decisions, emotions, actions, and behavior) are conscious whereas the remaining 95% is generated in a non-conscious (a.k.a. subconscious) manner.”
So when I fail I have to honestly ask myself a few important questions:
- Did I fail because my best really wasn’t good enough?
Or, on the other hand, which I suspect happens more often. . .
- Did I subconsciously not do my best, or act out in a way that prevented success, because I feared succeeding?
- Did I not believe in myself?
- Did I self-sabotage?
If you’re like me, what often happens is that we buy into our own negativity, that sense that ‘we’re not worthy,’ which is born from our insecurities. Once convinced that we aren’t as valuable as we truly are, we have already committed (albeit subconsciously) to failing. After that, all of our decisions, emotions, actions, and behavior follow suit.
One thing I always try and remember is this: If there is one person who stands in my way of accomplishing what I want, the first person I need to confront is the one looking back at me in the mirror.
So. . .
if I don’t get the promotion
if I don’t change my diet
if I don’t lose the weight
If I don’t give up bad habits
if I don’t improve my health
if I don’t improve my relationships
if I’m not accomplishing my goals or living the life I want, there are only a few possible explanations . . . and more times than not, they all come back to me.
Either. . .
- I don’t truly care about what I think I care about,
- I do truly care and want to achieve a certain goal for myself, but don’t really want to do the work necessary to achieve success,
- I fear success because I fear a change from the norm, or
- I fear success because with greater success comes the risk of a greater failure.
Although it’s true that every person has unique aspirations and goals, we all share the same concept of success—achieving the thing we desire.
So, how to avoid self-sabotage?
1. Be truly honest with what you want to achieve
2. Be truly honest with what work you’re willing and going to do in order to achieve it
3. Be patient with achieving your goal
4. Expect setbacks / failed attempts—they don’t mean you can’t or won’t achieve your goal
5. Never give up—don’t let fear of success or failing keep you stagnant
Yes, everyone has some self-doubt, but, it’s our choice to listen to self-doubt over self-affirmation.
Remember, today and every day, live your value one choice at a time. Let your fears go and make a conscious choice to succeed!